As he sat watching a couple of deer edge out of the forest and begin to browse on grass not far away from him, he allowed himself to smile. Inwardly, he allowed his heart to wrap around feelings of gratitude for the blessings of Mother Earth and those ancestors that his sister’s spirit had mentioned.
He glanced up at the night sky to see the brightest stars beginning to peak out and let their presence be known. It wasn’t hard to imagine that there were millions or even billions of other planets, other worlds, all rotating around the countless stars in the sky. Were they other places, other times? Did they see things in a similar way with as much a sense of Connection as what he was feeling now? Of course, no one could ever answer such questions with absolute certainty. The Great Mystery rarely dealt in such absolutes, yet even that realization made him feel more connected to All That Is.
All around him, the nocturnal animals were waking up. The owls called out to each other, at times sounding more like South American monkeys at the zoo than they did birds. Coyotes yipped in the direction of the tipi where Mark was and the night became less something that someone would fear and only added to the ease he was allowing himself to feel. It was in that moment that he realized, he hadn’t even thought about the guitar, the clubs, Caroline or even Joie for a while.
The night was becoming cold, and the breechclout that he was wearing offered little protection. After his stomach reminded him how hungry it really was, Jimmy shifted to put the wool Pendleton blanket underneath himself around his body and sat back down on the ground. The blanket offered just enough added warmth. His newfound comfort along with his hunger pangs actually helped him to recenter himself. Listening to the creatures of the night, he closed his eyes and let them lull him back to sleep.
It was the nearby snuffling and grunting that awakened him. Even as Jimmy fought his eyes to adjust to the darkness, he could see the large grizzly searching for grubs underneath a tree that had fallen long ago. Fighting the immediate impulse to panic, run and alert the bear, Jimmy fought to keep his breaths even and not react. Should he play dead, he wondered? The sound of his heartbeat pounding in his ears seemed to be the only thing that he could hear. He prayed silently in his mind to Tankashila, Wakauntanka, the ancestors - or anyone in the Unseen Realms to aid him in this rather precarious situation.
At one point he had to suppress a laugh, imagining a headline splashed across the dailies, “L.A.’s Latest Guitar God Mistaken for Grubs and Eaten in the Wilds of Canada”.
Well, if that was the way he was going to go to meet his ancestors and join his family in the hereafter, he thought, he would just have to deal with that…. But definitely not without a fight! Gaining control of his thoughts by pushing his darkest imaginings away, he remained calm.
The bear, now satisfied by a particularly rich section of the log that yielded the much sought-after grubs, finally moved away into the dark edges of the forest, snuffling for more concealed treats along the way. Jimmy had to admit he was grateful that he didn’t end up being one of those treats.
Once he regained a sense of calm, he focused on the lesson that the bear had just presented him. Even when things looked dire, staying calm and facing his fear seemed to be the course of action Still, he knew that it was not the insights that his Elders had encouraged him to seek in the forest. He was there to learn about the parts of himself that remained hidden. To him, that seemed a far-away enough goal that he allowed himself to go back to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was not the creatures of the forest that awakened him but the cacophony of birds chirping and Wiyoheyapa, the sun, our morning star who rules the power of the East. The orb was not visible yet, but the edges of the sky were a gradient of purple, mauve, and blue with the night sky and its stars beginning their retreat. Silently, he felt thankful that he had made it to another day and was about to pick up his chanunpa pipe when he looked down at himself.
Gone was the body that he knew. In its place he saw the same scales or iridescent green and peacock blue covering what would be his arms and hands - only they weren’t arms and hands - they were claw-like fingers attached to arms that were instead wings…giant wings Blinking his eyes he felt as if there were another set of lenses attached to his eyes, and looking back at the rest of himself, his legs and body were enormous!
” No…this is just part of the vision quest,” he said out loud to himself. At least his voice seemed the same. “Is this what you meant Mara? What the fuck is happening?” Jimmy then realized that “using bad words” during such a sacred ceremony was frowned upon by his people, and so he internally apologized to the ancestors. This had to be one of those dreams, he resolved. He would wake up, open his eyes and it would be as much a dream as the last time it happened inside the sweat lodge. Yes, that would do it, surely!
Taking a deep, deliberate breath, focusing on the sunlight that was increasing by the moment and warming him, he slowly opened his eyes to look down…..
NOTHING HAD CHANGED!!
Jimmy fought to keep down another rising tide of panic. Facing his fears with the bear was one thing, but this?! What if this was how he would stay? Where was his breechclout? His pipe? And more importantly, how would he play guitar - or marry the girl of his dreams? “Hi Joie,” he muttered to himself, “it’s me, Jimmy. Yeah, there’s a little something that I need to ask you? Are you into interspecies dating? Because a funny thing about that happened to me on my vision quest….”
It was all that he could do to keep from hyperventilating and running around the ridge in a panic. When he saw a dark, shadowy, yet familiar figure standing on the ridge between him and the sun.
The Vision (Part 2)
He glanced up at the night sky to see the brightest stars beginning to peak out and let their presence be known. It wasn’t hard to imagine that there were millions or even billions of other planets, other worlds, all rotating around the countless stars in the sky. Were they other places, other times? Did they see things in a similar way with as much a sense of Connection as what he was feeling now? Of course, no one could ever answer such questions with absolute certainty. The Great Mystery rarely dealt in such absolutes, yet even that realization made him feel more connected to All That Is.
All around him, the nocturnal animals were waking up. The owls called out to each other, at times sounding more like South American monkeys at the zoo than they did birds. Coyotes yipped in the direction of the tipi where Mark was and the night became less something that someone would fear and only added to the ease he was allowing himself to feel. It was in that moment that he realized, he hadn’t even thought about the guitar, the clubs, Caroline or even Joie for a while.
The night was becoming cold, and the breechclout that he was wearing offered little protection. After his stomach reminded him how hungry it really was, Jimmy shifted to put the wool Pendleton blanket underneath himself around his body and sat back down on the ground. The blanket offered just enough added warmth. His newfound comfort along with his hunger pangs actually helped him to recenter himself. Listening to the creatures of the night, he closed his eyes and let them lull him back to sleep.
It was the nearby snuffling and grunting that awakened him. Even as Jimmy fought his eyes to adjust to the darkness, he could see the large grizzly searching for grubs underneath a tree that had fallen long ago. Fighting the immediate impulse to panic, run and alert the bear, Jimmy fought to keep his breaths even and not react. Should he play dead, he wondered? The sound of his heartbeat pounding in his ears seemed to be the only thing that he could hear. He prayed silently in his mind to Tankashila, Wakauntanka, the ancestors - or anyone in the Unseen Realms to aid him in this rather precarious situation.
At one point he had to suppress a laugh, imagining a headline splashed across the dailies, “L.A.’s Latest Guitar God Mistaken for Grubs and Eaten in the Wilds of Canada”.
Well, if that was the way he was going to go to meet his ancestors and join his family in the hereafter, he thought, he would just have to deal with that…. But definitely not without a fight! Gaining control of his thoughts by pushing his darkest imaginings away, he remained calm.
The bear, now satisfied by a particularly rich section of the log that yielded the much sought-after grubs, finally moved away into the dark edges of the forest, snuffling for more concealed treats along the way. Jimmy had to admit he was grateful that he didn’t end up being one of those treats.
Once he regained a sense of calm, he focused on the lesson that the bear had just presented him. Even when things looked dire, staying calm and facing his fear seemed to be the course of action Still, he knew that it was not the insights that his Elders had encouraged him to seek in the forest. He was there to learn about the parts of himself that remained hidden. To him, that seemed a far-away enough goal that he allowed himself to go back to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was not the creatures of the forest that awakened him but the cacophony of birds chirping and Wiyoheyapa, the sun, our morning star who rules the power of the East. The orb was not visible yet, but the edges of the sky were a gradient of purple, mauve, and blue with the night sky and its stars beginning their retreat. Silently, he felt thankful that he had made it to another day and was about to pick up his chanunpa pipe when he looked down at himself.
Gone was the body that he knew. In its place he saw the same scales or iridescent green and peacock blue covering what would be his arms and hands - only they weren’t arms and hands - they were claw-like fingers attached to arms that were instead wings…giant wings Blinking his eyes he felt as if there were another set of lenses attached to his eyes, and looking back at the rest of himself, his legs and body were enormous!
” No…this is just part of the vision quest,” he said out loud to himself. At least his voice seemed the same. “Is this what you meant Mara? What the fuck is happening?” Jimmy then realized that “using bad words” during such a sacred ceremony was frowned upon by his people, and so he internally apologized to the ancestors. This had to be one of those dreams, he resolved. He would wake up, open his eyes and it would be as much a dream as the last time it happened inside the sweat lodge. Yes, that would do it, surely!
Taking a deep, deliberate breath, focusing on the sunlight that was increasing by the moment and warming him, he slowly opened his eyes to look down…..
NOTHING HAD CHANGED!!
Jimmy fought to keep down another rising tide of panic. Facing his fears with the bear was one thing, but this?! What if this was how he would stay? Where was his breechclout? His pipe? And more importantly, how would he play guitar - or marry the girl of his dreams? “Hi Joie,” he muttered to himself, “it’s me, Jimmy. Yeah, there’s a little something that I need to ask you? Are you into interspecies dating? Because a funny thing about that happened to me on my vision quest….”
It was all that he could do to keep from hyperventilating and running around the ridge in a panic. When he saw a dark, shadowy, yet familiar figure standing on the ridge between him and the sun.